Sh*t They Don’t Tell You About Adulting

Adulting is hard. I can’t tell you how many times I complain a day about having to “adult”. I really wish there was a handy manual that I could refer to when I can’t get my head around something, or better yet – I wish someone had told me what I was to expect when I grew up.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if they had taught us budgeting or money management when we were in school? Things like taxes, mortgages or setting up a savings plan. If you were lucky to have parents who helped you out with that, all I can say is that I’m very jealous. It would have been so nice to have been directed in the right position, especially when I started working.

Talking about school – I wish that we hadn’t been pushed to decide what we wanted to do when we finished. I felt like I was constantly being hustled into deciding what I wanted to do at university when I could barely decide what to have for breakfast in the morning.

Knowing what you want to do for the rest of your life at the age of 18 is daunting. I was blessed to know what I wanted to achieve but in terms of carving out a career for myself, I was seriously out of my depth. But, hey, here I am now.

What is it that they don’t tell you about adulting? A helluva lot of things, apparently.

Friendship ?

➡️ Keeping in touch with friends becomes harder

Let’s face it. How many times have you been in a group chat trying to sort out when to catch up because you haven’t seen each other in forever? It goes a little something like this:

Group of friends: Let’s catch up!

Friend 1: Yay! I can meet on Fridays!

Friend 2: I can only meet on the weekends

Friend 3: I can only meet during the full moon

Friend 4: I’m free in 2020

But life gets in the way when you’re an adult because this monster comes out of the closet called Responsibility and he’s a big asshole. He makes you wonder whether you left the iron on as soon as you’ve left your house, even though you didn’t turn on the bloody thing, to begin with.

You’re busy because of work or school or family or just trying to do life admin in general, and sometimes it is hard to stay connected with your friends whilst trying to do everything else at the same time.

It was so much easier when we were younger and still in school – we saw each every day! We were sort of in a bubble in school and it isn’t until you finish secondary school/sixth form/university and are thrust into the big wild world that you realise… ah, shit.

In saying that, though, it is always important to try and stay connected. I will be the first to admit that I am terrible at this. When I’m there, I’m present but in terms of messaging – wow… expect to receive a reply from me in 2025. (For all my friends reading this, I promise I’ll do better. I love you, all ?)

A simple “Hey, how’s it going” is so quick to send to someone.

Relationships ?

➡️ You’re too weak to handle heartbreaks, but you’re too strong to invest emotionally in a relationship once again

Ain’t that a doozy. When I was 16 I thought getting a boyfriend was my #1 priority when really it shouldn’t have been and I really could have got better GCSEs, but I digress.

The sort of relationships you have when you’re 16 are so different than the ones at age 21. You’re still a little emotionally immature, but you’re like slightly well travelled now and so you think you are mature enough to be in a relationship. Then you realise, wow, I’m really not. I’m talking about me, by the way.

I wish that I was told what my dating life would be like when I became an adult because then I could have run away screaming.

The dating world is shit. I’m not about to spew my usual rhetoric about men are trash but in my experience… Also, it’s really scary allowing yourself to be vulnerable around someone. And even though we are meant to be grown-ups, believe me when I say that you will meetsuper immature adults who are in their late 20s and don’t know how to SAY IT WITH THEIR CHEST.

Work ?

➡️ Getting a job is a nightmare

This one speaks for itself really. Ask anyone… finding a job is a job in itself. There’s a dream being sold that if you get a degree, you’re automatically going to get a job and I can frankly say: that is hooey.

Sure, I managed to get a job in Primark but with my degree, that’s definitely not what I wanted to be doing. I searched high and low for a job until I was lucky enough to land a paid internship, but for a lot of people, they have to sift through so many unpaid internships before hitting gold. The rules have changed around that, now, but I’m telling you – it was an absolute nightmare for me when I first graduated.

And then there’s the bit about getting a job with a stable paycheck but then ending up hating it but then you can’t leave just yet because you haven’t found anything to fall back on yet. And you can’t just leave because you need the money and here we have a catch-22. Fan-fucking-tastic.

There are so many things that you don’t get told about adulting. I get it, it’s a learning curve but a heads up would have been nice. Can I just fast forward to the part where I have a book published, I’m in a happy and loving relationship living in an affordable (keyword there) house with my 5 cats? THANKS. Other tidbits I’ve gathered:

➡️ Common sense isn’t common

➡️ You never feel like an actual adult

➡️ Life does not automatically fall into place

➡️ You’re now in charge of eating your own vegetables and taking care of your own body

Ultimately, though it’s all about being yourself. I posed the title of this blog post to friends and the varying topics you’ve just read are from them (PS. Thanks, all!) but here’s what I’ll end this post with:

“It’s ok to be you! Be who you want to be! Fuck what everyone else says!”